theme

daftlypunk:

i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”

9 hours ago  •  108840  •  via  •  source

You have such a huge fan base and it’s such an interesting show. Do your fans ask you for anything unusual? It being such an unusual show.

9 hours ago  •  135528  •  via  •  source

swag-chou:

HELLA YES!

9 hours ago  •  23343  •  via  •  source

ofwnchesters:

no but guys

someone told our professor that i had a fantastic pick up line and they made me tell her

DO YOU KNOW
HOW AWKWARD IT IS
TO LOOK YOUR PROFESSOR IN THE EYE AND SAY
“I MAY NOT GO DOWN IN HISTORY BUT I’LL GO DOWN ON YOU”

AND THEN

SHE RESPONDS

“I’M GOING TO TRY THAT ON MY HUSBAND”

dONE

9 hours ago  •  305118  •  via  •  source

"Yes, we slept together." [X]

9 hours ago  •  3998  •  via  •  source

emmaz0n:

the question is who in your otp is the enthusiastic parent that cheers way too loudly at soccer games

9 hours ago  •  81116  •  via

slomps:

Is your name volume because I wish you’d turn the fuck down

9 hours ago  •  16190  •  via  •  source

nintendo-blisters:

It’s finally happening.
Donald Glover is Miles Morales as Spider-Man.

9 hours ago  •  88475  •  via  •  source

jasonttodd:

callmekitto:

crackiswhacksherlock:

moriarty:

jashuwa:

moriarty:

what do you mean not everyone has a toilet that washes and massages your butt

Wait there are toilets like that?

image

what an incredible experience it must be

im mildly concerned about something labeled “turbo” going near my butt

9 hours ago  •  57012  •  via  •  source

tsarbucks:

no i’m not gonna lend you my pencil because if i lend you my pencil then you’ll want my calculator and then you’ll want austria and czechoslovakia and then you’ll end up invading poland and i will not have that shit

9 hours ago  •  402925  •  via  •  source

lindsaylohoean:

me when i get a better grade than the best student in my class

image

9 hours ago  •  153374  •  via

vanehwasreal:

missionary? doggy?? um personally i prefer

image

13 hours ago  •  156288  •  via  •  source
tavr0ss said:
what does puta mean?
13 hours ago  •  112315  •  via  •  source

michaxl:

dilclo:

michaxl:

why am i not a disney princess

because ur a 15 year old boy

image

13 hours ago  •  461958  •  via  •  source

nsfwjynx:

nottheoneicheckatwork:

kalynnemarie:

BREAKING NEWS: if you ever judge anyone based on the number of sexual partners they’ve had, you’re a complete imbecile.

I beg to differ.

If someone has had more than one hundred thousand sexual partners I will absolutely judge them because that is impressive as hell.

I was expecting that to go somewhere else than it did and I’m pleased with the ending

13 hours ago  •  94512  •  via  •  source